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| EFFECTIVE NETWORKING - First impressions |
| Part 2 First impressions As a rule smart casual or business suit is the recommended attire for networking events unless a specific occasion. To avoid being lost in the sea of Dark suits wear something distinctive which might be a topic of conversation such as an interesting tie, scarf or pin. Commenting on others "signature pieces" of clothing is a good conversation opener. How different you want to go may depend on your product or service or the type of members. A women’s networking event for example is more colourful. Gents-If you are nervous a tie will disguise the give away larynx jump. Place your nametag on the right shoulder. Unless Japanese as you shake hands, the eye automatically goes there. Look at the name tags (which should be in large print) and notice one's affiliation in order to choose whom you want to meet. *Coming soon- personalized networking name badges for WE members On entering the room 1. Enter the room with confidence, observe the climate, and find someone you want to meet. 2. Look for an open group. Watch the feet of people in conversation, an open triangular formation is a signal/invitation that you can approach the group. A closed group will be facing each other and have closer spatial proximity and do not wish to be disturbed. 3. When you arrive, smile. It's the one signal understood by everyone If when entering the room, you have made eye contact with another and they have smiled this is also an invitation to approach. 4. Ask the person closest to you to direct you to the event organizer. If they are available they can then introduce you to other members, if they are not available then you may comment that you are new to the person assisting you and 9 times out of ten they with encourage you to join them. 5. Never park yourself at the bar or at the food table. Get what you want, then circulate or try to start conversation first then you can use the food table as a withdraw tactic when working the room. If you are nervous it is quiet difficult to balance food, coffee etc in the early stages of meeting a new group. Intercepting the group This is often the hardest part of networking when you desperately want to belong and detach yourself from the wallpaper. Look around the room and select a group of 3 or more people. 2 people may be in the middle of a private conversation and may not wish to be interrupted. Are they in an open or closed formation? With 3 people there is the “spare third” that is a perfect opening for conversation. Likewise you may look for the lone ranger on their own, the upside is that this individual may be new as well, the down side is that this individual may be such a bore that everyone is avoided him/her! Another alternative is to talk to the guest speaker a good 15 minutes before his presentation starts. Keynote speakers love to talk and can be great contacts, but after they give their speeches they're always swamped. An open way of approaching the group is to use the psychological approach of seeking assistance. People rarely like to turn down a request for help and are generally willing to offer shelter and support. Also they will see you as a newcomer who may be beneficial to them. “Hi, Would you mind if I join you and escape from cowering by the drinks” “Hi, Would you help me by letting me join your group?” “Hi, Would you know how a newcomer starts chatting to people here” (Inevitable response of “Well that’s a good start…!”) By using the “Would you” technique (Often used in getting past gatekeepers to decision makers in cold calls) you are putting the respondent in the situation of affirmation rather than bluntly declining a request for assistance (Humans are adverse to this) Shaking hands A territory is our space we claim as our own. We all have personal territory, which includes home, car, possessions and defined space around our body. How vast the space is dependent on density of the population/environment grown up in. i.e. Japanese have closer zones Personal zone 18-24in= Social and friendly distance (parties) This is the appropriate distance for networking unless you have noticed that someone has leant into a handshake rather than stepping into a handshake – they require more personal space so use the 3 foot rule at the beginning, until they begin to lean towards you during conversation and then you can shorten the gap. Learn how to juggle/manage glasses, napkins and cards gracefully. If grazing, keep the napkin between the ring and little fingers, the plate between the index and middle fingers and the bottom or stem of the glass between the index finger and thumb, using them to stabilize the plate. After you take a sip or blot your lips, return the item to the left hand so the right hand is free to shake with the next person. Holding your galss with both hands makes a subconscious barrier…and a damp shaking hand! The first introduction How clearly do you say your name? Using a persons name is one of the most flattering things that we can do in conversation so it is important that we make our name clear and distinctive. Very often we mumble our name out not pausing for breath before we continue our next sentence. Always make clear distinction between your names and pause afterwards. James Bond had a fantastic technique for being remembered using a repetition to reinforce. “The names Bond….James Bond” Try this….“Hi I’m Jo ,… Jo … Bloggs ... (… is split second pause) Practice remembering peoples names that you hear. We love being remembered and this is a proven rapport building skill. Use a persons name during conversation. Use proper titles such as Dr. and Professor. Adopt a more formal style until invited to do otherwise. Use word association to assist a poorer memory. Use your visual senses to “trigger” your memory. Repeat a name several times after you have heard it, the first time out loud as acknowledgement that “I have heard” and then several times in your head. With difficult names you may wish to ask the person to repeat it so that you get it right, or how it is spelt out. Know how to engage people I haven't been here before-how does it work? Have you ever been at a networking event and wonder what to say? Say nothing. “If you can talk you can tell….If you can listen you can sell” ASK QUESTIONS! People love to talk about themselves. The greatest conversationalists in the world have learned to ask the best questions in the world. Ask plenty of open-ended questions that get people talking about themselves. Be genuinely interested in what they have to say and you will make a new friend and possible a new networking partner. Use active listening , truly listen rather than formulating your responses. We often fail to communicate because…“We do not listen with the intent to understand, we listen with the intent to reply!” Covey Be conscious of our own personal agenda’s that may act as a barrier to effective listening. Make your personal agenda to build x number of new relationships per event, not x number of leads. The leads will follow automatically. Listen 80% and talk 20%. Personal meetings should be interactive, like tennis; but in general, others would rather talk than listen, this is one of the laws of human nature. I like you and we had a good conversation because you allowed me to talk about myself. Therefore, give them your full attention. 4 simple questions; 1. Ask the person’s name? 2. What type of work do they do? 3. What is their best type of customer? 4. How can you help them? |
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